Today I want to write a post about community.
Writing a dissertation is hard. The hardest part? It's mostly alone. Well the writing part. I got lucky and got to do my research by producing and directing plays--yes! Working with artists. Best decision ever. But the writing part has got me mostly on my own for two years and they've been some of the hardest working years of my life!
Mostly due to the loneliness of writing my work down all alone with little frame of reference and an unhealthy dose of sheer terror in regards to sharing my work with others who may have done a lot of more different kinds of research than me. The Academy is very good a instituting fear of failure.
Having now moved into a suburb of Seattle--even further away from most people/communities I know--I can tell you now that I CRAVE community for my art. All kinds. Not having people physically present is not only lonely, it is demoralizing. It is draining.
It makes me think about transcendentalism... Yeah, that's right. These guys:
I love them--You've got Henry David Thoreau and Walt Whitman. You have Amos Bronson Alcott. And, of course, Granddaddy of bad: Ralph Waldo Emerson of "Selection from Self-Reliance" fame.
These guys were the idealistic social reform hippie bad boys (and ladies) of mid 1800's America. They were into nature, wrote poetry, created social reform communes and experimented with how to live better lives. They set up journals and schools. They wrote essays and lived alone in the woods (in each other's backyards). They were a little weird and New Englandy--but hey! They believed that people could be better and tried to figure out how to do that!
They believed in struggle of the persistent human spirit. I was really fascinated by the togetherness of it. Striving, not just alone, but also together because they believed in Unity of human spirit, world spirit the transcendent nature of reality.
I think of them now because I am in the midst of serious longing for community of artists. And I am reminded of Nathaniel Hawthorne's Blithedale Romance. Hawthorne is considered by many a black sheep transcendentalist--according to my professor. He along with author's Melville and Poe wrote in a bleak and opposing style to the transcendentalists--but Nathaniel hung out with Emerson and the others for a while. And his Blithedale Romance is thought to be based (loosely) upon his own time on one of the transcendental work farms (read commune!).
Now, the Blithedale Romance is not a happy story:
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I think that's why artist houses, artist groups, artist collectives are so common (that and the ridiculously low wages that people pay for work that is SO TIME CONSUMING!!!).
Cheese: It is not good for man--woman--artist--person to be alone.
Social creatures. I like to be surrounded by collaborators, workers--whether we're working together or not. This may have been influenced by my 22 years of school >.> [almost a doctor, almost a doctor]. But it is also influenced by my favorite experiences--Shakespeare festivals, Leadership conferences, Trumbull house, Underground, Honors Dorm, Dorms in General, Cousins at Christmas.
I am reminded of the atrophy of not being near others in a living situation by Notes on a Scandal (not the movie--the book!). Zoe Heller has this amazing poignant line written by this aged school teacher who lives alone and is on intimate terms with no one. She writes:
"They don't know what it is to be so chronically untouched that the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand on your shoulder sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin. I have sat on park benches and trains and school room chairs, feeling the great store of objectless love sitting in my belly like a stone until I was sure I would cry out and fall, flailing to the ground." (197-198)
She is talking about human connection--the need that we have of it. So deeply to love and be loved--not just in a sexual way but in a nearness. Proximity and the ability to love on each other and be loved.
I think this kind of connection and sharing is vital for artistic generation. At least for myself. There may be other artists who thrive on solitude (Thoreau certainly did--and Emily Dickenson didn't do too bad either) But Emily had a thriving connection with other artists and thinkers through letters. And Thoreau brought his laundry into the house to hang out with Emerson once a week.
The differences are generative. The support essential--especially in our contemporary milieu: an environment that teaches us that artistic risk and aesthetic failure are weakness. That the work it takes to create art is non-valuable in terms of money unless it fulfills a certain criteria.
I'm going to write about this some more. Think about this some more. This is a pretty general post, so we'll get into some more.
I have a great book to respond to on it call Against the Romance of Community. Part 2--Community the RomCom--coming to a blog near you:
Writing a dissertation is hard. The hardest part? It's mostly alone. Well the writing part. I got lucky and got to do my research by producing and directing plays--yes! Working with artists. Best decision ever. But the writing part has got me mostly on my own for two years and they've been some of the hardest working years of my life!
Mostly due to the loneliness of writing my work down all alone with little frame of reference and an unhealthy dose of sheer terror in regards to sharing my work with others who may have done a lot of more different kinds of research than me. The Academy is very good a instituting fear of failure.
Having now moved into a suburb of Seattle--even further away from most people/communities I know--I can tell you now that I CRAVE community for my art. All kinds. Not having people physically present is not only lonely, it is demoralizing. It is draining.
It makes me think about transcendentalism... Yeah, that's right. These guys:
Yep: These guys =D and Lady.
I love them--You've got Henry David Thoreau and Walt Whitman. You have Amos Bronson Alcott. And, of course, Granddaddy of bad: Ralph Waldo Emerson of "Selection from Self-Reliance" fame.
These guys were the idealistic social reform hippie bad boys (and ladies) of mid 1800's America. They were into nature, wrote poetry, created social reform communes and experimented with how to live better lives. They set up journals and schools. They wrote essays and lived alone in the woods (in each other's backyards). They were a little weird and New Englandy--but hey! They believed that people could be better and tried to figure out how to do that!
They believed in struggle of the persistent human spirit. I was really fascinated by the togetherness of it. Striving, not just alone, but also together because they believed in Unity of human spirit, world spirit the transcendent nature of reality.
I think of them now because I am in the midst of serious longing for community of artists. And I am reminded of Nathaniel Hawthorne's Blithedale Romance. Hawthorne is considered by many a black sheep transcendentalist--according to my professor. He along with author's Melville and Poe wrote in a bleak and opposing style to the transcendentalists--but Nathaniel hung out with Emerson and the others for a while. And his Blithedale Romance is thought to be based (loosely) upon his own time on one of the transcendental work farms (read commune!).
Now, the Blithedale Romance is not a happy story:
Cheery
In the Romance, the main character falls in love with a charismatic woman who's in love with a creepy charismatic and ultimately evil, culty guy who kidnaps a whispy gamin of a girl. And to top it off, the woman dies and the main character does not in fact get better at his art by performing menial farm labor close to the giving earth mother.
Ok. I'm severely simplifying.
But the point is, it's a rather satirical look at the who commune idea. The wonderful people with lovely ideals find that their lovely ideals fall apart in the face of human entanglements. Of course human entanglements. Of course drama. Of course things come up with you live closely with others. And inflexible idealism can make that hard.
However, I am not reminded of this story because of it's failure. I'm reminded of it because of the togetherness.
Communes--Co-ops and other group endeavors--at least in my experience, do not last forever. This makes sense to be because the people in them are constantly changing and growing--their relationships and needs change and grow. But the time that they are together is something really special.
I'm getting farther afield from both the transcendentalists and from Blithedale.
Perhaps I'm going somewhere nostalgic, but the best things I remember doing were things that we did together.
Like Cute Fluffy G*Damn Ducklings!
I think that's why artist houses, artist groups, artist collectives are so common (that and the ridiculously low wages that people pay for work that is SO TIME CONSUMING!!!).
Cheese: It is not good for man--woman--artist--person to be alone.
Social creatures. I like to be surrounded by collaborators, workers--whether we're working together or not. This may have been influenced by my 22 years of school >.> [almost a doctor, almost a doctor]. But it is also influenced by my favorite experiences--Shakespeare festivals, Leadership conferences, Trumbull house, Underground, Honors Dorm, Dorms in General, Cousins at Christmas.
I am reminded of the atrophy of not being near others in a living situation by Notes on a Scandal (not the movie--the book!). Zoe Heller has this amazing poignant line written by this aged school teacher who lives alone and is on intimate terms with no one. She writes:
"They don't know what it is to be so chronically untouched that the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand on your shoulder sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin. I have sat on park benches and trains and school room chairs, feeling the great store of objectless love sitting in my belly like a stone until I was sure I would cry out and fall, flailing to the ground." (197-198)
She is talking about human connection--the need that we have of it. So deeply to love and be loved--not just in a sexual way but in a nearness. Proximity and the ability to love on each other and be loved.
I think this kind of connection and sharing is vital for artistic generation. At least for myself. There may be other artists who thrive on solitude (Thoreau certainly did--and Emily Dickenson didn't do too bad either) But Emily had a thriving connection with other artists and thinkers through letters. And Thoreau brought his laundry into the house to hang out with Emerson once a week.
The differences are generative. The support essential--especially in our contemporary milieu: an environment that teaches us that artistic risk and aesthetic failure are weakness. That the work it takes to create art is non-valuable in terms of money unless it fulfills a certain criteria.
I'm going to write about this some more. Think about this some more. This is a pretty general post, so we'll get into some more.
I have a great book to respond to on it call Against the Romance of Community. Part 2--Community the RomCom--coming to a blog near you:
Right in the feels! This gets me, as well you know, right in my heart of hearts. Because all of my dreams involve community, involve togetherness. Recently, moving across country to a foreign city without friends has been really hard. But, I realized something, I had done it before, but with an institution to rely upon. Within weeks of moving to Detroit I had friends in school and was working towards living together. I have always lived in a family/dorm/domicile setting and it has been really hard transitioning out of that mindset. So the objective is now to work towards it. Some people are not meant to live alone. So bring on the work farms (read communes). I am sold. Sign me up or let me have my own. But, work together, share together. That is when I do my best work. I know. I tried the other.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry dissertating has been really, really hard. I know how much of a toll it has taken (or at least guess at it). You have mentioned that it is like your kryptonite. Writing in a new field with no contemporaries in a new area with few friends. Are there ways to manage it? Avoid it? Work with it? Strategies for coping/improving your situation, particularly for your future self and future students who may find themselves in a similar situation?
I don't know if there is. The academy has it set up in a really particular way; I think, unless the academy has some profound and radical changes that it wil continue to be this way. However, I definitely would suggest that students take time to think about their dreams and their goals as well as to find people who share them. Making sure they know how each step of what they do contributes to those dreams is HUGELY important.
ReplyDeleteBeing alone--feeling alone is probably my biggest fear. It makes me lose sight of dreams. Those dreams are far more powerful though and finding people who will support them and point me at them when I'm low are the biggest help.