In an interview, Brené Brown discusses the culture of exhaustion and busy-ness which is currently equated to success for many working people in the U.S. She's referring to the (sometimes) 24 hour work schedule of checking emails, sending documents, making calls, and addressing issues which leaves very little, if any, time for being present, enjoying completed work, enjoying other people, and communing with yourself. I recognize the pressures of this culture. Those who seemingly work constantly are celebrated and looked up to, whether or not they actually are working constantly or are even happy.
The myth/practice that value is located in production speed, volume, and consistency hurts. Especially because it disrupts and curtails free time, personal time, and celebratory time with nagging fear and anxiety--this is time I am not spending on work. This trap gobbles non-work time transforming it into anxious about work time, which Brown calls "the burden of not getting enough done". With my dissertation, I feel this all the time. If I didn't write today, "I didn't get enough done". Counting the months until my mandated graduation, "I'm not getting enough done". I worked on a performance, "I'm not getting enough done". I made cheese, "I'm not getting enough done". I cleaned the house, "I'm not getting enough done". These are all lies that make not only day to day living harder, but they grind me down. When I sit down to work on my dissertation, the weight of all these statements piles in behind me threatening me to get more done than is possible in one sitting, just to make up for when "I didn't get enough done" before. To borrow words from the wonderful Charles Mee "It's a Vicious Cycle, It's a Vicious Cycle".
Brown doesn't only lament the culture of exhaustion, she also offers some solutions, which are helpful. First is to "Stop, recognize, and offer feedback". Yesterday, I spent two and a half hours on chapter two, finally finding the will to dig into it after a painful period of not working directly on it. After all that work of identifying problems to solve, places to fix, and methods of fixing, my computer froze and I had to reboot. Unfortunately, I lost all the comments, highlights, and visible work. I was pretty devastated. "I'm not getting enough done and what I did get done is gone". After a long talk with my boyfriend, he asked me if it was really gone. In the conversation, I stopped, recognized the work I did and repeated feedback on it. I remembered the broad strokes. I had identified patterns of work that I knew I could do. I had even written the general outline of my comments down on paper. The work I had done was not completely lost and it had been empowering. Reflection and feedback can be an excellent motivator. As Brown points out, "feedback is a function of respect". While she is primarily talking about giving feedback as a leader, you can perform the function on your own work as well. Reminding yourself of what you have done and how it works, evaluating your own work with a respectful eye.
The second suggestion Brown makes is to "set boundaries around [the] work and respect them". For example, giving specific working hours or locations and leaving work within those times and/or spaces. By creating boundaries and deliberately leaving work there, you can create room for yourself to appreciate the work that you have done and enjoy yourself and the other things that make up your life without punitive thoughts based on should: i.e. "you should be working now"--No, self, we should be enjoying this snow day, this movie night, this home cooked meal, these friends.
One of the most beautiful thoughts to me is that we are always, already present. Fear of the future (should be working) and of the past (didn't get enough done) can only distract us from the fact that we are always, already present. If I am working, I am working. If I am relaxing/making/enjoying/etc, I am doing that. It's not wrong. It's part of being a productive worker. It's part of taking care of myself so that when I am working, I can really tackle that problem.
That said, felt, and released, it is time to work now. =)
The myth/practice that value is located in production speed, volume, and consistency hurts. Especially because it disrupts and curtails free time, personal time, and celebratory time with nagging fear and anxiety--this is time I am not spending on work. This trap gobbles non-work time transforming it into anxious about work time, which Brown calls "the burden of not getting enough done". With my dissertation, I feel this all the time. If I didn't write today, "I didn't get enough done". Counting the months until my mandated graduation, "I'm not getting enough done". I worked on a performance, "I'm not getting enough done". I made cheese, "I'm not getting enough done". I cleaned the house, "I'm not getting enough done". These are all lies that make not only day to day living harder, but they grind me down. When I sit down to work on my dissertation, the weight of all these statements piles in behind me threatening me to get more done than is possible in one sitting, just to make up for when "I didn't get enough done" before. To borrow words from the wonderful Charles Mee "It's a Vicious Cycle, It's a Vicious Cycle".
Brown doesn't only lament the culture of exhaustion, she also offers some solutions, which are helpful. First is to "Stop, recognize, and offer feedback". Yesterday, I spent two and a half hours on chapter two, finally finding the will to dig into it after a painful period of not working directly on it. After all that work of identifying problems to solve, places to fix, and methods of fixing, my computer froze and I had to reboot. Unfortunately, I lost all the comments, highlights, and visible work. I was pretty devastated. "I'm not getting enough done and what I did get done is gone". After a long talk with my boyfriend, he asked me if it was really gone. In the conversation, I stopped, recognized the work I did and repeated feedback on it. I remembered the broad strokes. I had identified patterns of work that I knew I could do. I had even written the general outline of my comments down on paper. The work I had done was not completely lost and it had been empowering. Reflection and feedback can be an excellent motivator. As Brown points out, "feedback is a function of respect". While she is primarily talking about giving feedback as a leader, you can perform the function on your own work as well. Reminding yourself of what you have done and how it works, evaluating your own work with a respectful eye.
The second suggestion Brown makes is to "set boundaries around [the] work and respect them". For example, giving specific working hours or locations and leaving work within those times and/or spaces. By creating boundaries and deliberately leaving work there, you can create room for yourself to appreciate the work that you have done and enjoy yourself and the other things that make up your life without punitive thoughts based on should: i.e. "you should be working now"--No, self, we should be enjoying this snow day, this movie night, this home cooked meal, these friends.
One of the most beautiful thoughts to me is that we are always, already present. Fear of the future (should be working) and of the past (didn't get enough done) can only distract us from the fact that we are always, already present. If I am working, I am working. If I am relaxing/making/enjoying/etc, I am doing that. It's not wrong. It's part of being a productive worker. It's part of taking care of myself so that when I am working, I can really tackle that problem.
That said, felt, and released, it is time to work now. =)
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